A Silly Night Begins at Arlene’s Grocery

30 03 2010

Went there with some friends to Arlene’s Grocery is at 95 Stanton Street this past Friday.   What started out as just seeing a friend of a friend’s band, turned into a oh-s0-ridiculous night.  I wasn’t planning on bar flying, but a few drinks got me talkative and right before the band went on I grabbed someone else in the audience.  Right before the band, Vinyette, came on, Eric and I had a good talk, toasted with our cheep-o beers, and disagreed over if Hoboken sucks (which it does).

Who could argue?

Bar Fly: Have you seen this band before?
Eric: No, just heard the cd.
Bar Fly: From where?
Eric: My friend gave me the cd and they rock.
Bar Fly: What other bands do you like?
Eric: Fall Out Boy to Disturbed to Perfect Circles.  Pretty eclectic.
Bar Fly: What are you drinking?
Eric: Miller Light.  The King of beers.  Triple hops.
Bar Fly: Three dollars I believe.
Eric: Yes, indeed.
Bar Fly: First time here?
Eric: It is actually.
Bar Fly: Where are you from?
Eric: Madison, N.J.
Bar Fly: How long did it take you to get here?
Eric: 50 min, just took the train.
Bar Fly: What’s your favorite bar?
Eric: In life?
Bar Fly: Sure, in life.
Eric: This place in Wilksbury, PA.
Bar Fly: Wilksbury, there’s stuff going on there?

Some girl who seemed annoyed with me talking to this dude Eric and this dude Eric

Eric: Breaking Ben is from there and when they’re not on tour they go to random bars there.  Who doesn’t love good acoustic music.  …my second favorite is William Mc(something’s) in Hoboken. (Anyone who thinks they know the actual name of this, let me know)
Bar Fly: F-ck Hoboken.
Eric: Why?
Bar Fly: Judging by the statistics that I know, people in Hoboken are 80% lame.
Eric: Hoboken is a cool place.  You need to open your mind to that.
Bar Fly: I’ll try.
Eric: You won’t.
Bar Fly: True.

Next post, post show interview with Vinyette lead singer Nathan.


To Bar Fly or Not To Bar Fly…

23 03 2010

That is the question.

Bar Fly being interviewed

20 03 2010

I’m trying not to completely crack up, hence my coy smile.

Saint Patrick’s Day Post: 2 of 3

19 03 2010

Still at Desmond’s Tavern, Saint Patrick’s Day….

Grabbed a friend, of a friend, of a friend Matt, who was still celebrating a long day of drinking and wearing green (in his case a green tie).  We were interupted quite  a few times by a nice girl who was being very, um, Irish.  I only bothered to write down a few of her outburst, btu imagine hearing something random every few lines and you won’t miss out on the experience.

Mr. Matt, pretending to be shy.

Matt: I refuse to answer any incriminating questions.  I also want to look in the mirror the whole time (he looks across to himself and smiles). Do you know short hand?
Bar Fly: My own version. What time did you start drinking?
Matt:: After I completed a full term of work, approximately 6:30. (Suuuure)  Geez.
Bar Fly: What are you drinking?
Matt: The finest barley and hops of all time.  (Coors Light, I think not).  I never lie.
Bar Fly: Like George Washington.  (Matt looks puzzled).  “I chopped down the cherry tree.  I cannot tell a lie.”
Matt: Who hasn’t chopped down a cherry tree?
Bar Fly: Who’d you come with?
Matt: Your friends!
Bar Fly: True.
Matt: Bob, Jim, Sally.
Bar Fly: Liar.   Are you Irish?
Matt: Yes.
Bar Fly: How Irish are you?
Matt: I’m not sure how to answer that.
*Drunk girl says*: I’m Fifty Percent!
Matt: Unknown.
Bar Fly: Are you just Irish today?
Matt:Is my beard this red everyday?
Bar Fly: Is it red?  Anyhow, what’s your drink of choice.
Matt: Everclear.
*Drunk girl says*: Captain and Ginger.  (OK?)
Matt: Can I retract that statement?
Bar Fly: Um, no.  What’s your real drink of choice?
Matt: Water with slice of lemon.
Bar Fly: Are you shy?
Matt: Extremely.

I wouldn’t trust a word this Matt character said, but he was quite funny.  Another good interview on Saint Patty’s… if I do say so myself.

Saint Patrick’s Day: Post 1 of 3

18 03 2010

I didn’t have what you would call the ideal Saint Patrick’s Day.  Not at all.  I spent the day working in an organic Manhattan restaurant and trying not to look our the window at the lucky, green-wearing drunks walking by.  It was painful.  Still, when I finally got out I hustled over to Desmond’s Tavern on 30th and Park.  While it wasn’t the bar I would pick to celebrate Saint P’s, it did the job.  By 10:30 pm the crowd was indeed, drunk, tired, and mostly not Irish.  They had the sufficient quota of annoyingly loud girls, absurdly cocky dudes, and, most of all, people who stopped trying to look good long, long ago.

After being handed a very warm, non-Irish beer (gross Coors Light) my friend Katie turned the tables on me, grabbed my notebook and gave me a taste of my own medicine.

Katie: What is your favorite drink.
Bar Fly: Now?  Tullamore Dew.  Whiskey.  I made you drink it once.
Katie: Ideal pickup line?
Bar Fly: As long as he doesn’t mention that I’m tall, it’s fine.  In the clear.
Katie: 3 adjectives you look for in a bar?
Bar Fly: Specials.  Dudes.  Toilet Paper.  (Those are nouns, silly me.)
Katie: How much would someone have to pay you for butt sex?
Bar Fly: I don’t think it would be a monetary amount.
*Katie’s friend Matt: How long would his beard have to be?
Bar Fly: I don’t think facial hair would be a factor either.  I like unstable men thought (I was pointing to a guy who was literally unstable, holding onto the door frame to stand.)
Katie: If you had to sext someone what would you say?
Bar Fly: Wanna cyber in non-virtual reality?
Katie: If you had to do a body shot off the owner what kind would it be?
Bar Fly: Well, it’s Saint Patrick’s Day, so Jameson.
Katie: If you couldn’t walk what would you do?
Bar Fly: Run?
Katie: No, like swim or fly…
Bar Fly: OK, fly?
Katie: If you had to be another nationality what would you be?
Bar Fly: Am I just considered caucasian or Irish now?
Katie: Irish. (Hell yeah I am).
Bar Fly: Well, then I’d be French, so I could smoke cigarettes and eat baguettes and french fries but still be skinny,
Katie: Favorite holiday?
Bar Fly: Other than Saint Patrick’s…. Halloween!  Because I like dressing up! (scandal with and excuse.)

Hope you enjoyed that!  Thanks to Katie!  Pics to come soon (new camera, not sure how to work it).

Love you silly kids, Bar Fly

A Bar Fly’s Favorite Holiday!

17 03 2010

This old Irishman has the right idea!

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to all my Irish folk out there, and everybody else, who is Irish just for the day.  Bar Fly is indeed Irish, and though I sadly have work today, I will be out Bar Flying post-work.  I can only assume I’ll find some sloppy New Yorker’s, hopefully at least one who can verbalize something.  Very excited for the night to come.

Bar Fly advice:  Stay safe. Have fun. Wear green.

Birthday Shenanigans

16 03 2010

Me at Coyote Ugly... gettin ugly.

This past weekend I had my birthday celebration (for actually me, not as Bar Fly) on Friday and Saturday nights.  Who knows if there will be more this coming Friday, the real birthday date.  Needless to say, I was in no shape on either night to interview anyone.

However, I was in perfect drunken shape to dance the night away with any man, woman, being, or wall support pole I could find.  The celebration included drinking amazing berry flavored drinks at Royal Oak in Brooklyn all night Friday (594 Union Avenue), and getting crazy over all you can eat/drink Sushi and Sake at Ashiya in the East Village Friday (167 1st Ave), then dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly (153 1st Avenue), where I put “Indian Outlaw” on the jukebox and proudly belted all the lyrics, and finally ending the night Saturday at a place whose name did not register in my hazy memory (yo, friends where were we???).

Here’s some shots from my very silly weekend.  Hopefully my new job doesn’t interfere with lots more silliness to come!

Thanks for reading!

Love, Bar Fly/Birthday Girl

Ashiya crowd!