Last night I really didn’t want to go out at all, but I as a dedicated Bar Fly I live/drink to serve my people. I was leaving a class by Bryant Park and decided to do the unthinkable— bar fly in Times Square. As you may remember, it is part of this blog’s mission to try all types of bars. While we’ve already mentioned I favor the dingy hole-in-the-wall, I did promise to go everywhere and that sadly includes even to the most revolting places aka tourist bars. Gag me.
So, I did it. I ventured into Times Square, despite the having a deep-rooted personal hatred for the land of bright lights. Why my personal vendetta? It could be the countless tourist taking pictures of even the most ridiculous things (I saw one girl posing with a garbage can). It could be the annoying fact that people travel to the best city in the world to eat at a chain restaurants like Olive Garden and Red Lobster which they already have in their local mall? It could definitely be that I spent part of last summer selling stand-up comedy tickets outside the MTV store and my long days of being pushed by crowds and covered in Times Square air pollution killed the slightest chance that I can ever again feel that tourist wonder for the world-famous lights on Broadway. Probably all of the above, and more. Let me repeat: Gag me.
I very sorry to say that my trip proved unsuccessful (just maybe I went into it with a bad attitude?). First I stopped at Bar 41- found out it’s attached to Hotel 41. There’s something way to creepy about lingering in a hotel bar and I couldn’t make myself do it. Second I stopped Bond 45, which I thought was going to be a bar, but it was actually a restaurant and that wouldn’t do either. Finally, I stopped by O’Lunney’s Time Square Pub at 145 West 45th. To their credit, I love any place who puts up their Saint Patrick’s Day decorations in February (part of the reason I loved Penn State, as the town created our own day- State Patty’s Day- because one day of Irish celebration and drinking is not enough).
Despite all my hopes, I just couldn’t get an interview done in this place. My first approach was in a rush to catch a show. My second approach was a relaxed group of three, who all got very angry when I asked to interview them. “We work for a media company, so we’re really not supposed to talk to…” She couldn’t finish the sentence, as if the word blogger were dirty and she waved me away. I looked around and couldn’t find many people under 40 or not with children. It just wouldn’t do. I gave Times Square a big F U, finished my 5 dollar bottle of Bud Light (a six-pack is what, 7 bucks?), and decided that Times Square is no place for a true Bar Fly.
That would be a drunk bridal shower posing with grossest Elmo ever.
Bar Fly likes to stay positive, but I can’t even fake it. Unless you have family visiting who is making you go see a show, don’t go. And actually, if you need a pre-show drink head out of horrible Times Square. Find somewhere halfway decent in Hell’s Kitchen. But mostly for Times Square bars, don’t ever go.
Only funny thing I saw: Bridal Shower party taking a picture with the dirty boot-leg Elmo. FYI this Elmo was recently charged with assault when someone had their kid take a picture with him and refuse to pay. Hope Bride-to-be didn’t face the same fate.
